I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I will die if light touches me.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
