I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i can't believe i had my finger in that
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize