My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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