Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That accounts for only three of the penises
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
