after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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