found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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