I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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