if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
