theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
