Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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