At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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