i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
