Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
