508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
