am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
