i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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