Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
