Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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