the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
