ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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