now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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