So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
