idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
