i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
