where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
