I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
