wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If I die, sorry about rent.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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