Im at strip club and am horny
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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