I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
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