if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
did i walk over a car last night?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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