One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
