I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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