Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Shame - the story of my life.
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