ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
