trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
