You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
