do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
