I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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