I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
