so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
and she was petting her beer can
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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