I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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