i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
