if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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