Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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