I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
