batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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