We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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