He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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