Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
