I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
