I'm sorry my penis didn't work
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize