I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
