So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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