Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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