your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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