i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
