My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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