forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
