so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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