Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
